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20121002
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Search Results 0 to 15 of about 16 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Sep 24, 2012 7:40pm PDT
one mitt romney. >> he will have his first major national platform to introduce himself and his ideas to the american people. >> jon: yes! (laughter) after only a solid, let's say, seven years on the campaign trail. (laughter) mitt romney finally had a prime time television slot to introduce himself to the voters. and ultimately ended up getting upstaged by a piece of wood. all right. (laughter) a piece of wood who spent most of his time talking to a chair. boom! (laughter) boom! (cheers and applause) no. i still love clint eastwood. i'm going on record. still love clint eastwood. all right, just three weeks after being upstage bid a chair and completely botching his response to the horrible events in libya, a new announcement from the romney campaign. >> the romney camp is said to be engineering a reboot. >> call it a romney reset. >> we begin with mitt romney who's just unveiled a new campaign strategy. >> jon: did we say we were gonna introduce him at the convention? no, no. that's not-- (laughter). you always reintroduce the candidate three weeks after the convention. (laughter) s
Comedy Central
Sep 26, 2012 10:45am PDT
" romney, which is also a terrible nickname. >> look, it doesn't make sense for us to have millions and millions of people have no health insurance and yet who can go to the emergency room and get entirely free care for which they have no responsibility. when they show up at the hospital, they get care, they get free care paid for by you and me. if that's not a form of socialism, i don't know what is. (laughter) >> jon: the uninsured being cared for in emergency rooms is irresponsible and socialist and i am totally cool that. (laughter) that's how your state wants to deal with it. you see, whatever his missteps are as a candidate barack obama is surging in the polls because the closer we get to the election it is dumber mitt romney appears to be getting. (cheers and applause) here he is touting his economic plan-- settle down. really? is that how you want to win this thing? (laughter) the other guy just tears his a.c.l., is that how you want to win? (laughter) here's romney touting his economic plan at the start of this campaign last year. >> my economic plan lays out how i will ultimat
Comedy Central
Oct 2, 2012 1:00am PDT
romney are preparing for wednesday's debate on in denver. >> msnbc obama's leaving on sunday for two or three days of debate camp. >> oh, debate camp! >> oh i remember going to debate camp, i remember like no sports, a bitter rival, camp normal malfun. >> let's see if i remember the debate camp stopping if i can. ♪ >> on the shores of lake rhetoric, we practiced logical consistency. will beat your ad hominem attacks on false tautologies. and logical falsie. >> not in the face! not in the face! getting your ass kick is actually written into the song! >> so two highly accomplished men to see which one becomes the most powerful man in the free world. >> romney has to be chomping at the bits. >> beth myers tells campaign surrogates there are several reasons she believes the president will be likely to win the first debate. >> he has done these kind of debates before, this is mitt's first time on this kind of a stage. >> oh! >> maybe he is more on home at the vegas stage. >> r rated hypnotists or two gay germans trying to make a white tiger disappear. >> monkey on a bicycle. well, if it is
Comedy Central
Sep 25, 2012 7:30pm PDT
one advocated by governor romney. i tried to do it in a calm way without calling anybody any names or getting anybody mad. i thought they had been a little rough on him on that well fare and medicare rip they are on. so i had a little fun with that, but otherwise. >> jon: but that's what we were so surprised because people took to it in a manner as though you had brought high rhetoric from the mountain it was in its simplicity, i think, that is what... it was almost as though you brought something to people and they were eating it and they were like oh my god there sun real, i have never had it. and you are like, it's pizza. the simplicity of it... . >> i think the american people take this election seriously. they know they have to make choices that will affect their lives. >> jon: uh-huh. >> and it's not very helpful if you take up their time and you don't explain what those choices are, at least from your point of view. so that's what i tried to do. >> jon: are you surprised, it has struck me that the romney campaign has been very year that they don't want to give the specifics
Comedy Central
Oct 1, 2012 7:30pm PDT
going to be here. here's moment of zen. >> quite a guy, isn't that something? wait a second, romney/ryan, romney/ryan. there we go, all right, that's great. thank you. >> oh, sweet
Comedy Central
Sep 26, 2012 11:00pm PDT
? wait a second, romney/ryan, romney/ryan. there we go, all right, that's great. thank
Comedy Central
Sep 27, 2012 10:55am PDT
here. here's moment of zen. >> quite a guy, isn't that something? wait a second, romney/ryan, romney/ryan. there we go, all right, that's great. thank you. >> oh, sweet >> stephen: tonight! can prayer change this election? well, picking paul ryan was certainly a hail mary. (laughter) then, obama's making us less safe. that terrorist from "homeland" won an emmy! (laughter) and my guest, author jim holt, has written a book on why the world exists. well, when two planets love each other very much they share a special hug. (laughter) the university of tennessee frat members were caught butt-chugging wine. (laughter) that sounds like some drunk ass (bleep). (laughter) this is "the colbert report." (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause )
Comedy Central
Sep 24, 2012 10:55am PDT
is leading mitt romney nationally by five points among likely voters. >> jon: with support. crushed with support. [laughter] well, romney's inability to trounce history's worst president was all scheduled to change this week with a very announced campaign reboot, which as you know involves mr. romney taking a paperclip and putting it into a hole. i don't want to talk about it. [laughter] brings back memories of when i used to have to reboot rough men at the genius bar. [laughter] unfortunately, romney's reboot was thrown off just a tad. >> there are 47% of the people who will vote for the president no matter what, who are dependent upon government, who believe they're victims, who believe they're entitled to health care, to food, to housing to you name it. >> jon: entitled to food. [laughter] medicine. roofs. that's the republican candid for the presidency seemingly characterizing a broad swath of americans that include veteran, the elderly, the working poor and much of the middle class as a bunch of lazy freeloaders. it touched off a firestone everywhere, but nowhere more acutely t
Comedy Central
Sep 25, 2012 10:45am PDT
the region >> jon: that's foreign policy advisor to mitt romney and mr. ryan dan senor, decrying the middle east messiness. why don't you rebut him, chief spokesman for the coalition provisional authority in iraq, a more junior dan senor >> democracy we often said when we were there that democracy is messy. if you want clean and tidy there's dictatorship but right now these iraqis political leaders are immersed in their first sort of democratic experiment >> jon: i get you, man. it was the early to mid, man. everybody was experimenting with democracy then. what's up? you know what [bleep] i'm out of here. just go at it, you two. >> just a reminder of the chaos that a lot of the policies of this administration have sowed. chaos in the arab spring. chaos for allies in israel. there are certainly areas that are problematic. we are having some tough days. we'll have tough days ahead. what we've seen in the last three days is a product of policies that have been building over the last three years. if we are successful in building some modicum democracy, it will be an enormous success. you
Comedy Central
Sep 27, 2012 7:10pm PDT
. >> quite a guy, isn't that something? wait a second, romney/ryan, romney/ryan. there we go, all right, that's great. thank you. >> oh, sweet ♪ two... two, three... ♪ ♪ (snoring) (female giggles) bender (loud whisper): shh! don't wake up fry. (ladybot giggling) shh! my roommate's sleeping! (giggling continues) wake up already! (snorts) huh? i'm about to get down and funky with this ladybot, and i'd appreciate it if as many people as possible could know about it. now can we get some privacy?! (jackhammer rattling) (both giggling) (backup warning beeping) bender: aw, yeah! back it on up. (both giggling) (jackhammer rattling) (bluegrass music playing) ♪ hambone, hambone! ♪ hambone! okay, hambone break's over. back to the bedroom! (jackhammer rattling, pneumatic tools whirring) bender and ladybot: ♪ hambone, hambone! (groans loudly) bender: ♪ hambone! (snoring) wake up and feel the coffee! (spluttering) oh, no, i'm late for work again! (panting) sorry i'm late. well, well, well. look who decided to show up. i've had it with your tardiness, fry. i expect you to arrive the same
Search Results 0 to 15 of about 16 (some duplicates have been removed)